The journey so far -- In early October I went to the doctor where a nodule was found on my thyroid. The next day the nodule changed to a mass. About a week later my mass had become a tumor classified as cancer. I left off with my story just before we were to go to meet with the surgeon.
The meeting with the surgeon gave Isaac and I both peace of mind. We were told once the tumor was removed there would be no need for any further treatment. No chemo or radiation. He explained the procedure, how long it would take, how long I would be in the hospital and what to expect afterwards. The biggest thing would be the possibility of some loss of voice and difficulty in swallowing. The thyroid sits between the nerves that control your voice. All of this was minor. Surgery was scheduled for the morning of October 27th. 15 days away.
We went home with good news to tell the kids. Everyone was at home that night so we could tell them in person. Talk about it. Ask questions. Basically, just understand all that was going on. I told all of them that no matter what, they could come to me with questions or to tell me how they were feeling. Whatever - it WAS okay to talk about. My mom had cancer for 6 years and died when I was 24. We NEVER talked about her cancer EVER. I didn't want that to happen with my own family.
The hardest part was picking up the phone to call my siblings and my dad. When I called I just told them what the surgeon had told us. I did my best to be confident and to assure everyone I would be okay.
15 days was going to be a long time. But my business was still busy and things needed to be done before I had my surgery. I didn't want to have anything to worry about while I recovered. There was more than enough to do to keep my mind busy and not dwell on my cancer and my upcoming surgery.
During those 15 days I would have a wide range of emotions. One morning I was busy folding laundry and just stopped and found it weird that I had this tumor in my neck that was cancer. It was hard to believe because I felt fine, looked fine and had never been sick before finding this tumor. Other times I would stand and look in the mirror and couldn't see any difference. I had cancer so I had to look different right? But the funny thing was I was more worried about how everyone else was dealing with this. Who was worrying too much? How so and so was coping? Weird I know but that's what I do best. Worry about others.
Surgery day approached (just typing this makes my stomach flip flop). The day before I kept as busy as I could. I finished making a Halloween costume for my son. And made the cutest Halloween costumes for my niece and her friends. But as dinner time approached the more apprehensive I became. I had dinner on the table and turned and looked at Isaac watching me and almost lost it right there. I told him I needed to go away for a few minutes. I figured going away and crying on my own was better than trying not to and having a total panic attack. I headed for my bedroom and had a panic attack in private. Then went into the bathroom and washed my face. Then went and sat down at the dinner table. I tried to crack some jokes but couldn't quite pull that off. I don't think I can ever truly pull off cracking jokes anyway so... ha!
After a sleepless night, we headed for the hospital just before 5AM. Surgery was scheduled for 7:30AM. Everything was on schedule. Of course I had to have one last minor panic attack as Isaac walked back to the waiting room. After that I didn't remember too much of anything. ha!
Next thing I remember I was being wheeled to a room. I'm not sure what I was expecting for a pain level but what I experienced was a little more than anticipated. And the nurses and I had a slight miscommunication on pain meds. Apparently I wasn't on any kind of schedule, if I thought I needed something I was suppose to ask. So by the time we had that figured out I had gone almost 6 hours without any pain meds!! Yikes! My kids came to visit in the middle of all of this and I had to tell Isaac I didn't want them there anymore. I couldn't let ANYONE see me cry!
I was so lucky to have my dear friend (and Nate's mom-in-law) there when I hit rock bottom. She told me I was the strongest person she knew next to our "daughter" Lora. I just kept hearing her tell me that. Then my baby sister was there to help put the pieces back together. After that Lora came and helped me to stay cool and warm all at the same time. I love all three of these ladies. They got me through the only true low moment I've had through all of this.
By the next morning I was feeling pretty good. A bit of a scratchy voice and a really terrible time swallowing but all in all I felt good. The surgeon came and told us that surgery went extremely well. The tumor was what we had thought and that the whole thyroid had been removed. He said I could go home as soon as all of the paperwork was done.
It was good to be home. Recovery went well. It probably would have gone faster if I hadn't been afraid of missing something if I napped while my dad and siblings were here for most of a day. ha!
Since surgery, I have met with my surgeon who said everything looked great. I have a lovely scar on my neck that will eventually look like a crease(wrinkle) in my neck. For now it looks a little Frankenstein like.
My surgeon referred me to an endocrinologist, a doctor I will need to see for the rest of my life. This is the person who will monitor my "thyroid" levels and make sure the cancer has not returned. The doctor I was referred to was an ass. I could go on and on about him but won't waste any more of my time on him. I did an internet search and found a new endocrinologist at the U of Minnesota Clinic.
I met with her on December 6th. She told me there is one treatment that has to be done. I get to have a Radioactive Iodine (RAI) treatment on January 19th. When your thyroid is removed there is no way they can remove ALL of the tissue so the RAI treatment will kill the rest of that tissue. If any tissue is left behind cancer can grow there.
The medication I take keeps my thyroid hormone levels normal, which they were when I went to the doctor on the 6th. On Tuesday (Dec 13th) I stopped taking that medication and started one that will reverse those levels so there is NOTHING. It helps the RAI to find whatever thyroid tissue is left. This new med is really messing with me. Thus the reason for not publishing this edition of my blog any sooner. It makes my heart race, then makes me dizzy and then makes me achy all over. It lasts for a couple of hours and then I feel fine. A little tired but that's all. I take these until January 2nd then nothing.
Then for the last nine days I have to eat a low iodine diet. Its pretty amazing what has iodine in it. Egg yolks and dairy products are at the top of the "DO NOT EAT" list. Once I go off my meds I can be extremely fatigued so it is suggested I cook all of my low iodine diet meals ahead of time. I have food ready for ALL 9 breakfasts and then 7 other meals. Tomorrow I will cook the rest of the meals and get them in the freezer.
When I go to the hospital for the RAI treatment I get to spend 24 hours in a lead lined room. Doesn't that sound like fun? Anything I take in with me has to be left behind. I will have a TV and a telephone. I plan to bring some magazines and a paperback book and maybe some Word Finds. I'm hoping I sleep most of the time away but...
Then when I get home I get to be isolated from the rest of the family. The girls are spending the weekend away from here. It will give me more peace of mind if they aren't around. I have to be isolated from Friday through Monday. On Tuesday I have a complete body scan done. Those will be done periodically for a yet to be determined length of time.
This is my story so far. I will post an update once I have something new to add. I feel blessed to have the kind of cancer I have. I had a tough time with feeling guilty about all of this. The ease with which I will get through all of this. I don't have to have chemo treatments and I don't have to have any radiation treatments. I have friends and classmates who have gone through such horrible things to beat their cancers. I am truly, truly blessed.
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